Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day 1 - your biggest accomplishment

My biggest accomplishment..... Well of course it involves where I am today. Graduationg College with a BS in Agriculture Education and a double minor in Animal Science and Horticulture. I am now teaching Animal Science at West Jordan High School, growing up I always pictured myself teaching but never actually seeing it in my plans. With others saying this was not a job for me, I can't handle the kids without beating them, and etc. the list goes on.  My biggest accomplishment actually happened because  I wanted to prove all of those people wrong that said I couldn't and can't do it.

Prepare to be Challenged! Thanks to Sara for the idea

Prepare to be Challenged!

Okay, so I have been HORRIBLE at blogging lately. I saw this challenge on another friend's blog and I thought it would be a great way for me to get back into the habit of posting consistently. I challenge some of you to do the same thing if your blog needs a little help too!

The 30 days Include the following:

Day 1 - your biggest accomplishment

Day 2 - your definition of success

Day 3 - Your favorite teacher

Day 4 - your favorite book

Day 5 - your favorite quote

Day 6 - 20 of my favorite things

Day 7 - a photo that makes your heart melt

Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad

Day 9 - a photo you took

Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you

Day 11 - a photo of you recently

Day 12 - something you are OCD about

Day 13 - a fictional book

Day 14 - a non-fictional book

Day 15 - your role model

Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)

Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding

Day 19 - a talent of yours

Day 20 - a hobby of yours

Day 21 - a recipe

Day 22 - a website

Day 23 - a youtube video

Day 24 - where I live- in detail, what makes it special?

Day 25 - guilty pleasure

Day 26 - your week, in great detail

Day 27 - my worst habit

Day 28 - whats in my handbag/purse

Day 29 - hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days

Day 30 - car you drive ( and past cars too!)

Monday, September 13, 2010

2 sided...

So I feel like I have two sides to me and I hate it, which one is really me?  At school I try to stay positive and make the best of things, I have this front when I'm around others. But then there is another side of me that just feels like crying all the time when left alone. I have no desire to do anything once I get home, I just lay around. I think this is why I leave for work so early and try and stay late, so it keeps me occupied and I don't have to be the other me.

I really would love to be happy but what is happy, I've had this happy front for so long I don't know if I know what its like to truely be happy. How can I feel like I have self worth when even my own family puts me down. Isn't family supposed to make you feel good, not like you are worthless. But time and time again this is how I feel.

I wish happiness would really just come and find me, since I'm supposed to be blessed with it. I'm waiting for the day when I don't feel like I am right now, where I hate myself and wonder whats the purpose of all of this, but I'll figure that out one day, hopefully soon.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

A Question to hit hard at heart...

So as I was sitting in church today we were asked, what would we be without the gosple in our lives. I've thought of this before but for some reason it hit really hard today, take 30 seconds to think about it. Where would you be in your life if it weren't for the gospel in your life.  Go ahead I'll wait.....
Well you get the point seriously think about that question.

I know for me I would not be where I am today without the gosple, heck I may not even be here on this Earth if it weren't for the gosple in my life. We all have stuggles and trials that we have to go through, but would we handle them the same if we weren't  members or if we didnt know what the gosple has in store for us. A quote I really like is.... Its not what happens to us its how we deal with what happens to us. This is so true if you really think about it. We are only given trials we know that we can overcome, Heavenly Father knows what we can handle and will be at ourside along each step of the way.

So if I weren't to have the gosple in my life , where would I be????

Well I may have been discouraged when I was 14 when I lost one of my best friends, I may have taken the same route as him, but gratefully I didn't and am still here today and was able to deal with the loss, I still have questions about it but now know its all part of his special plan he has for each of us.

When things didnt go my way I may have protested and my life may have went an entirely different direction but it didn't.

When all my friends started making wrong decisions in their lives I could have kept following them down this path, but I soon realized it wasn't my lifestyle and I knew better. I disappointed myself and probably others, but I did change because I knew it was wrong, as I moved away to Logan, I finally started to figure out who I wanted to be.

Logan me and Stockton me were two entirely different people, Logan me is who I want to stay but will need to keep working on that now that I am not there anymore. I was a happier person, I had amazing role models/ roommates to look up to and give me an extra spiritual boost that I never got in Stockton. I became a happier person and soon realized I am much happier and get along better with my Family when I am not near them.

Pennsylvania life was another eye opening experience for me, it was challenging but also enjoyable. I learned that I can survive without people I know close by. I only knew a few of my co workers but learned to rely on them for help. This is when I first realized the importance of the preisthood, and the blessings that come from relying on the Lord for help.

Priesthood blessings kept coming once I returned back to Logan, but most of all blessings and happiness came once I started attending the temple again. As a youth I never realized the importance of the temple. Its not just blessings for me but also for those whose work I was doing. My life was being blessed because I was thinking of others and not just myself.

I have the job I have today because i relied on the Lord to help me and guide me in the right direction and to help me make the right choice for me.

So to sum it all up, I know I would not be here today with out the gospel in my life, and I don't want to know what its like not to have it in my life again. I've been down that path and its not the path for me.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Wonders sometimes what I've gotten myself into.

So somedays I really wonder what I've gotten myself into. I feel like I'm not making a difference in anyones life and they are all just in my class for the credit not that they want to be there. It's kind of frustrating trying to share my passion with others when they have no desire to learn it. I am finishing my first unit on the FFA and all I am hearing is complaining, why do we have to learn this, I want to learn about animals. But they just can't figure out that the FFA is an amazing organization, if they could just open their minds up to it and not complain about things constantly. I know I just need to give it time and things will work out, I need to stay positive and try to engage the kids so they will want to learn what I am teaching them, but some days its just hard. I never thought I'd say this but I actually miss Delta, the kids weren't just there for the science credit, they were there because they actually wanted to be there, they had an interest in the desire and what I could do for them. Now I've just got to focuse on doing that here in West Jordan. I need to make the best of my situation and be able to help those that are willing to learn, and eventually the others will follow. Thats all my random thoughts for now.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Well the Journey definately has begun...

Well its been a long while since I've updated and someone mentioned that my blog missed me and that it needed updating because I have a lot to update on.

First off I got a job at 

I am teaching there full time as the Animal Science teacher. I had offers else where but this just seemed like the right one for me. The best part was I got the call and was offered the job within 10 minutes of leaving the temple. So there really are blessings you can recieve from living worthily.

My second big news is I finally bought my own car,
Its a 2006 Hybrid Ford Escape, so now hopefully I won't be breaking down all the time. So far I am really loving it and it came in really nice for my next big news.

My third item of big news is I now live in 

Yep thats right, I'm now a city girl. HAHAHAHA, well its not so bad so far. We are so far west and so far south its not too bad and its only a 10-15 minute drive to my school down Bangeter. I'm living with my cousin Kasondra in her new townhouse and I live in the princess room, I totally have a castle on my wall, I know you're jealous.

 Its pretty sweet huh, I always new I was a princess.

Well thats all my big news so far....
School is going well I have only officially taught two days and used those to get to know the students, yet I come home exhausted because it takes a lot of energy to stay that upbeat and positive in class, i figure I'll  be that way for at least the first year or so.

My VP says I look happier then the past teacher when he asked me how it went, and said well it looks like you survived and you still have a smile on your face so I take that as good news.

Bring on the Adventure!!!!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Still seeking....

Well Graduation came and went and now the school year is starting to wrap up for the high schools as well, which is good and bad news. I am still currently looking for a teaching job, but who would have thought that Utah would have 9 Full time openings this year with more possible to open. I am still waiting to hear back on some and am crossing my fingers and praying that things will work out for me. I know that I just need to be patient and things will alll work out according to the plan that Heavenly Father has in mind for me.

I thought I was going to be totally miserable living at home but things are starting to work out for me. I've started attending the singles ward in Tooele and have met some new friends and am spending a lot of time with them and have alot of plans in the future with them.

I was struggeling to find any part time work then all of the sudden it just came. I got a job as a trainer where I can work from home teaching people how to use a hand held pc that has software to help manage their livestock herds, Its an animal science company and it seems like an interesting job that if I let it grow could be a full time job for me if things dont work out. The nice thing about it is that it is really flexible, I had only been hired for 2 days when I had been offered another job and they said they were willing to work with me on my hours. So working my weekends and some hours at nights for Fort Supply Technologies, you can check it out at and then I will be working my days Mon- Thurs for the school district doing maintenance and painting for the summer months.

I got a call today  from Weber and have another interview with them for a new opening on Wednesday but I didnt think that they were too impressed with me the first time they interviewed me, but they had to have some sort of interest in order to have me come back again for this interview. I am just hoping that soemthing will work out for me, who knows maybe its not in his plans for me to teach this year and I am supposed to be doing something else. But until then I will keep trying and will figure things out eventually.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Its finally happening

Finally its happening, after 4 long years of hard work and dedication. 
Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited for Saturday, but to be honest its just another day to me. I really have no extra emotion towards the day.

I guess I am just lacking emotion towards life outside of my current situation of whats going on at home. I spend all my time taking care of my grandparents and its truely exhausting, yet I don't regret one minute of it. They have done so much for me growing up, now its my time to take care of them.

Sorry this isn't all chipper and happy, its just part of the journey of life. But I am glad I am graduating, now let the job hunt continue.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Frustratedly unemployed....

So today I had a cousin point out to me that I can no longer say I am a  student when they ask for my occupation, I now have to say unemployed. It's kind of frustrating for me to have moved home and not to have a job, I thought I had 2 part time jobs lined up but one bailed on me so now I am just working one and that really doesn't pay the bills. To tell you the truth I actually don't even know how much I am actually making at my job, but then again I haven't even been around long enough to work I've been running here and there and the days I can actually work they don't need me, but the days they need me I am already busy with other plans. How am I supposed to pay for gas if I can't even get a job where I work... It's really frustrating for me that I can't even get a part time summer job, and here I am as of Saturday a college Grad with a BS degree, yet High school drop outs can get jobs. Its all really frustrating and everyone keeps telling me I need to be patient, but how patient can you be when you have loans that need to be paid off when you have no job. I live at home and am not loving that situation, but then again its free rent and luckily I haven't been home a lot lately and still have yet to unpack from moving home the 16th of April, I guess its my way of thinking that  if I stay packed the sooner I'll get a job and won't have to repack.  I'm thinking now I should have went into nursing, I could have actually used that field, I have had more experience in that field throughout my life then any other.  Since I'm not working I spend my days helping my grandma care for my grandpa, after his stroke he's become much weaker and she can't do as much as she used to either and can use all the help she can get. I just wish there was more I could do to help her out and more I could do to make him more comfortable. Its hurts me to see him in the condition he's in and I wish I could do something more.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Reasons realized....

State Convention.... for those of you who have never been to a FFA convention, seriously you  need to go and see what I am talking about. It is something you look forward to every year.  So I know Delta doesn't seem like the dream place, but I am actually really grateful for the opprotunity to have the chance to student teach there. It has helped me realized why I wanted to teach Ag. So state convention was a dream come true!!! We had many students competing in various events, and we won either first or second in almost everything we competed in. It is amazing to see the students grow over the short period of time I have had with them as they have been preparing. They have been practicing and the preparing for the competitions/ events and that flame in them has grown stronger and  their desire to learn keeps growing. Its amazing to watch students you have met from all over the state and have seen throughout the years grow and progress, its the sense of accomplishment that you have helped them in someway get where they are today that makes me want to teach. The strong spirit of unity and leadership was amazing these past few days and  I can proudly say now that I am proud to be part of the RABBITS. They have something to be proud of, they are an amazing group of kids that  have a lot going for them. They have taught me alot over these last few months and I know its sad to say but I think I'll actually be sad to leave them.

Delta has shown me what I want in my future program and what  a little work can do after just a  little time, think about it. Mr. Warnick has only been teaching now for 4 years and has in my book one of the top chapters in the state.  Imagine what I can do once I start teaching, so he'd better watch out in a few years I'll be giving him some competition hopefully!!! But seriously this has been such an amazing experience for me to be able to see what an amazing chapter can be and what it takes to make one. I can't wait to start my own. So lets cross our fingers and start hoping jobs will start opening up.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I hate this!!!

So here it is already mid-term for me, only half a semester left and then graduation. That scares the crap out of me!!! I have no potential jobs lined up, but have heard a few rumors of jobs opening up so cross your fingers and say a little prayer for me. I am still trying to get used to things, and its harder then you think. Especially walking into some body elses program where they have it how they want it and you dont really know what to do because you want things slightly different.  But I am still having fun with it. I am still trying to find me in the teaching though, its a struggle but I know I will.

So I hate it, Me and my stupid self feeling sorry for myself all  the time. I get in these depressed moods all the time and it really doesn't help that I live alone and don't really talk to anyone but my students and my family a few times a week. Its really hard adjusting to being completely alone from coming from a place where I was always surrounded my friends, now I never hear from them, occasionally on facebook but its just not the same and I miss it. I miss feeling the love and support of others, and not I seriously feel like I am alone on all this. I know I'm not, but it really just feels that way. I miss the random hugs from roommates and friends when I've had a bad day, or just whenever I needed one. Its  been way too long for those, and I know it won't be the same if I go back to visit. I've changed, they've changed. They say they care yet how come I haven't recieved even one phone call from them? Heck I don't even get texts back most of the time, I understand people can be busy but seriously.  Maybe I just over analize things too much. Well enough of my ranting for now, better get back to cleaning house and lesson planning.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Time flies and I'm already teaching....

Wow. Time really flies, I can't believe it that I'm already student teaching. It seems like just yesterday I was still in High school and here I am teaching High school. I have a really amazing cooperating teacher who is going to make my experience very beneficial to me, he is giving me a lot of needed resources and labs. He is inviting me to go to workshops to help better my teaching, I never expected this much help but am truely grateful for the experiences he is giving me. I am finally all settled in, my family brought all my furniture down and now I feel like I live in a home instead of an empty apartment. It is really weird living with 14 roommates to now living alone. Its kind of a creepy/ scary feeling being alone all the time. I'm not a huge fan of it, but its just for a few more months so I will survive and make the most of it. I'll have to post some pictures of the new place, I've made it my own by decorating it. My siblings were not too happy with that fact because they had to help haul all of my stuff down. But it makes me feel better having it feel like my own instead of blank walls. I believe I will be doing a lot of cooking so maybe I should have some visitors so I don't have to eat it all. I have a new recipe book that I want to try alot of new recipes, so let me know if you want to come visit and I'll make you a new treat. That's all for now.

Friday, January 15, 2010

So my journey has begun down teacher lane. I'm slowly jumping into the teaching but will soon be teaching more of the classes as soon as Mr. Warnick finishes the units he is teaching. I'll post more as soon as I get the internet but for now it's all off my phone.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Random thoughts about my current situation... CHANGE

Have you ever been in a place in your life that you absolutely love and don't want to give it up, but you know you have to in order to move forward in your life. Well I am currently in that situation. I finally felt like I was going in the right direction for me. I had the most amazing roommates that I didn't want to leave and I was starting to develope the most amazing friendships that I will always cherish then everything in my life must change in order for me to take the next step into my future.  I just feel that I have lost everything I had, and its really hard for me. Yeah I know I can always come visit my roommates and friends, but its really not the same. It feels weird to come back since I've moved out, its like going home when you've been gone for so long and everyone you knows is still in the same place doing the same things with their lives and me being the only one to move on. I don't mean that in a bad way towards them its just really hard for me to come back. It's as if I don't belong here anymore. It hurts me to think of it that way. I am so greatful for all the people I have met over the past 4 years at school and will Cherish all the fond memories I have had with them. I just need to toughen up and face the fact that I  will encounter change throughout my life and that it's not always bad Change can also be very good for me too.

Monday, January 4, 2010

"Good teachers are priceless. They inspire you, they entertain you, and you end up learning a ton even when you don't know it." I hope one day someone can say this about me.

The Journey begins... down memory lane

Going back and looking at my life recently I have discovered new things that I never realized before in my life.

Living at home is defiantly not where I can see myself, no offense but its not me. I have changed so much for the better and am such a happier person when I am not at my parents home. Logan has became my home for the last 3.5 years and I am really sad to be leaving it behind. It has been apart of my life and helped shape me into the person I am today. I have met some of the most amazing people that I am truly sad to be leaving behind. They have been such a strength to me in my times of trials and bumps along life's path.

My roommates truly became my family, I could rely on them for anything. Although I did develop motherly attributes while living with most of them, I can not say that it is a bad thing. I will be especially prepared in those areas when I actually become a mother.

I have discovered that I am a better person and am living happier now that I have finally got my life on the right path and started attending the temple, just baptisms for not, but eventually I'll make it all the way. The gospel is such an amazing part of my life and is a major part of my happiness. Feeling the spirit throughout my day to day life and in my home has really helped me through my struggles. I know that when I am struggling I just need to ask in faith and Heavenly Father will be there by my side helping me with each step I take.

I am about to face a new journey in my life, something that everyone around me is questioning if I am capable of handling. Which does not help with self esteem, having people doubting every decision you make is not a comforting feeling just because they choose a different path to travel. I will be moving to Delta next week and will be starting my student teaching, I feel adequate for the most part until I moved home and have been questioned about whether or not I can handle it and if I even know anything to teach the students.

How is a person supposed to feel when they get questioned about their entire college career. Just because it is not a chosen career path that family members would have picked or because teachers aren't rich. Should your career only focus on what amount of money you can bring in, or should it be something you love and enjoy doing. I never understood the people who hated their job, but loved the money so much they would never quit and find something they could actually enjoy.

So my journey in life it about to begin... Lets see where it takes me